'The most difficult part of my birth journey

was not seeing my midwife anymore'.

Dana

Birthing is such a powerful, intimate experience that any care and support you give the mother will leave her with indelible memories. You will be part of her story, but unless you are part of her family or close community, at some point in her journey you may need to say goodbye.  If your contact is very brief, wish her well. If you have a practice where the mother has access to you however oft en she chooses, then it will be up to her to decide when she no longer needs your support. If you have had a specific agreement or contract around your time together then it is a more mutual 'finishing'. Sometimes, you may need to leave the mother before she is quite ready to 'finish'.

However your time together has been defined, and whatever transpired, when you say goodbye, it is important to acknowledge the time you have shared together, and that it will now be different. Rationally, every mother will know her time with you is complete, but emotionally it may be more difficult for her to disconnect when you have shared many intense and profound moments together. She may fear life without the support she has experienced thus far; she may wonder how she allowed such intimacy when she knew a time would come to part. She may even feel abandoned.

Finishing well is essential in order for the mother to feel complete in her relationship with you and move on with self-confidence. It's not so much that you are so important to her, but that your time together and your support has been important, and that you have been privy to normally undisclosed and deep aspects of this person. You have become part of her story, and you may be helping hold the story.  Acknowledge the leaving and provide opportunity to share or 'give back' the story. Appreciate what you have shared together, and wish her well (farewell). Remember those important questions I have suggested you frequently ask both yourself and the mother:

~ 'How are you feeling?'

~ 'Do you need help?'

~ 'How can I help?'

~ 'How can we work together to complete this?'