'I felt like clay or plasticine – mouldable.'

Claire

 
There are many inevitable and normal changes that come with having a child. Some, like less time for leisure, less sleep, and continually meeting the demands of baby, as well as body changes and increased hormonal activity, are guaranteed to cause some level of disruption and stress. The process of integrating and making room for these changes practically, physically and psychologically takes time, patience, and a measure of resilience, self-discipline and support.

In the modern world, we mostly live fairly independently and with quite a load of stress. We become used to dealing with this load, but rarely allow space for unexpected changes. Extra ‘stress’ or ‘disturbance’ is usually enough to tip the balance into overload. Our usual coping mechanisms are no longer effective. We either develop new strategies or go under.  Some of the potential ‘stresses’ experienced in childbearing are simply changes that need integrating through acceptance and surrender. Others, due to sudden or unexpected outcomes or difficult circumstance, are truly great stresses that need to be managed with care.  By tracking the complexities of a mother’s feelings and responses to her experience, we can encourage her to find her strength and enduring self in any time of vulnerability and loss of recognisable self. We can help her to take responsibility and control in a seemingly out of control situation.